Day 3 and overall thoughts

I honestly don’t think I need to devote an entire post on the third day, the day went pretty much the exact same as the first two.  I figured I will just end with my thoughts on the whole thing.

The pros and cons:

I’ll start with the cons because, in general, I would recommend a cleanse for someone.  Doesn’t have to be this one but I definitely feel healthier and more rejuvenated after these three days. 

Cons: 

1.     Hungry + angry = Hangry:  This was definitely expected.  I spent almost all of 2013 extremely hungry so I think I was mentally prepared for this.  I am just glad no one royally pissed me off or I’m pretty sure I would have gotten arrested for something.  No wonder skinny chicks are so angry and miserable – GIVE THAT BITCH A CHEESEBURGER!

2.     Lack of protein: As someone that enjoys working out, the lack of protein in this was very difficult for me.  I would necessarily call it a con but I would have enjoyed a little more of a protein option.  The cleanse stated that eggs are allowed if needed. But egg whites without cheese??? What kind of world is that?? A boring, miserable one.   I did somewhat cheat everyday – I had a small handful of almonds before each of my workouts so I wouldn’t pass out. 

3.     Morning Glory: I will honestly say that the morning juice was the only bad one.  I managed to get through it every day and looked forward to the next “meals” but I think the morning juice should be more appetizing – “start the day off right” kind of philosophy. 

Pros: 

1.     The taste: I guess this was kind of in both categories but all the juices, besides the morning one, were good.  The lunch juice was the same and I had no issues with.  My favorite meal was definitely dinner though.  I had 3 different dinner drinks: Choco, banana, strawberry – coconut meat, dates, cinnamon – peanut butter banana.  They were also the ones with the most calories so I didn’t wake up every night starving… just woke up because I had to pee.

2.     Weight loss: I didn’t go into this for the purpose of weight loss.  I knew that would probably be part of the cleanse with only assuming about 800-900 calories a day, but I started it to kick start some healthier eating going into bikini season.  I won’t give you the exact numbers but I weighed myself Tuesday morning, prior to drinking my first juice and then weighed myself again Friday morning right when I woke up.  I lost a little over 5lbs in the 3 days that I did the juice diet.   

3.     De-bloat.  I did pee like every half hour but I did notice a lot less bloating, especially in my stomach.  Consuming that many ounces of water a day made me realize that I should be drinking more water everyday.  It helped wake me up and definitely helped with bloating.  

4.     This is a more personal pro of the cleanse but it made me realize how well I am recovering from my eating disorder.  Yes, losing 5 lbs in 3 days was nice and I did feel pretty skinny, but a few years ago, losing that weight would have probably caused me to continue minimal eating habits.  The day after the cleanse, I was able to go back to my normal eating habits while focusing on portion control – I didn’t get stressed out or nervous about putting the weight back on.  Although I knew weight loss would be an effect of the juice cleanse, that was not my intended purpose when deciding to try it – I wanted to work on improving my diet.  

Day 2. I’m hungry.

I successfully made it to day two without giving up. Props to me!  I did wake up 2 times during the night to pee… but that is probably just the fact that I drank 150oz of water yesterday.   

Today I had to go into the office.  Before starting this cleanse, I decided to work days 1 and 3 at home… since there is no food in my apartment, I wouldn’t have any temptations staring at me all day reminding me how hungry I was.  But today, I was going into the office.  Day 1 wasn’t horrible so I was assuming day 2 would be a little worse but I would have a better idea of what to expect. 

I started with my morning juice, cleverly named “morning glory”, which unfortunately was the same as yesterday morning.  But I came prepared.  I had refrigerated it over night and this time I wasn’t going to deal with the luke-warm veggie beverage – I brought a few straws to work also in hopes that it would make it go down easier.  It did… kind of.  I plugged my nose and chugged the entire thing – so graceful, I know, but I knew I had to drink it because I was already STARVING.  

  

After the breakfast drink, the rest were really good.  That’s the one pro of this juice cleanse – minus the breakfast drink, in which you could probably substitute egg whites, all the drinks are pretty good.   They have a good amount of variety too so you don’t get bored of drinking the same drinks everyday.  

Throughout the day, I felt myself getting fatigued and could feel my energy depleting.  I drank my two (…three) cups of coffee that were recommended/allowed by the cleanse and attempted to drink as much water as I could.   My frequent urge to pee, however, made it very difficult to get anything done though.   

I also had to deal with lunchtime.  While everyone was eating their crunchy food – salads, sandwiches, etc., I was drinking my wonderful juice… that was sarcasm.  Fortunately, the lunch juice isn’t horrible so I was able to avoid the temptation of eating real, yummy, food.   

 

  

After drink 4 is when I started getting really fatigued.  One of the main issues with the juices is that they do not contain much, if any, protein – they solely consist of fruits, vegetables, and water.  With the lack of protein, the juices did not curb my appetite for very long.  I had maybe an hour after every drink where I would get hungry again.   Driving home, all I wanted to do was stop at the grocery store and pick up peanut butter or something substantial that would make the fatigue and irritability go away – alas, I did not.  Go Laura!  When arriving home, I immediately laid down on the couch and took and nap.  One of the recommendations for the cleanse is to get as much sleep as possible…. So my 2 hour nap was completely justifiable.

I did promise a friend that I would go to our MMA hot yoga class at 7:15.  This class was less of a struggle than my spin class yesterday, but it was still difficult.  I was definitely not as energized as I needed to be in order to get the most out of the class, by I made it through.  After yoga, I rushed home to drink my dinner. The dinner, or number 5, juices are probably the best ones and always different.  Tonight it was coconut meat, dates, and cinnamon. DELICIOUS.  It didn’t even taste healthy! 

For tomorrow, I may skip on working out because I have kickball.  Fortunately, I will be working from home tomorrow so, for what I am assuming will be my toughest day, I will be no where near tempting food and my bed/couch if I need a lunch time nap.

Cleanse Day 1:

Day One:

 

So I wake up, wanted to having my normal yogurt and granola breakfast but NOPE, time for juice.  I had left the juices sitting out overnight following the instructions – I had to freeze them when we first got them because we didn’t want to start them immediately.  My advice would be to never do a juice-cleanse over the weekend.  Do it when you have a routine and are preoccupied with something like work.  So the juices were all left out over night leaving them at about room temperature.  When I woke up, I put all but the morning juice into the refrigerator.   

Maybe it was the room temperature or the actual juice but the morning juice was not very good, and by not very good, I mean it sucked.  So obviously I was concerned that the entire cleanse would be unappetizing and I would succumb to eating normal food and wasting my money.

But alas, the juices got better.  The lunch one, consisting of kale, spinach, mango, pineapple, and banana was actually quiet delicious.  The way the juice works is there are four juices a day – all labeled 1-6.  1, 3, and 5 are the breakfast, lunch, and dinner meals and 2, 4, and 6 are for “snacks”.   

  

I started getting hungry after my number 2 juice.  I attempted to go to a spin class at 5:30.  The beginning of the class started out well but towards the end, I could start feeling my stomach growling and my energy depleting.  I will be doing a hot yoga class tomorrow so maybe that will be less of a struggle (yogis never eat anyways so maybe that’s what I’m meant to do). 

One of those hippie juice cleanses

So my roommate and I recently decided we wanted to try doing a juice cleanse.  And by we, I mean mostly my roommate.  Apparently the 3-day cleanse would be cheaper when you purchase two sets, so I agreed to partake in this juice cleanse experiment.  We got the juice off of groupon – and before you say anything about it not being good, hence why it was on groupon – I did my research and found some legitimate reviews on the product.  I’m also a huge fan of groupon – great excuse to do something you normally wouldn’t for cheaper.  Like skydiving or hot yoga (both of which I purchased off of groupon).  But anyways…. Rambling…. 

  

I don’t really expect to get too much out of it – it is only 3 days of drinking 6 smoothie-like beverages every 2-3 hours.  I do have one expectation going into this juice cleanse, of which I’m assuming will be spot on. 

I will be hangry all three days.  

And if you don’t know what hangry is – its hungry-angry.  We all know what I’m talking about here.  You know when you hit that point in time where you are aware of how absolutely hungry you are and then for some reason, you don’t have access to food and anything everyone says royally pisses you off? That’s hangry.  Someone could say you look pretty and you would want to bite his/her head off.  

I spent almost all of 2013 hangry – which explains why I was the most unbearable mo-fo you could possibly imagine.

Luckily, I have the ability to work from home two days a week so I will be working from home on the first and third day.  I wouldn’t want my excessive hangriness to get me fired or anything 🙂

She’s back!

Yes, I understand I haven’t posted in a while but now that I’m finally settled into my new city, with my new job, I can finally set aside some time each week to post something. Don’t worry, I will post something at least once a week for all you avid readers!

That was sarcasm… I know there aren’t many avid readers and honestly I don’t mind.  Truthfully, I started this blog for me.  More to write down things and actually be able to go back to it. Physical journals are lost and then how you would reread something? Oh the joys of technology…

I usually like to write about something specific in each of my posts – European shaving habits, certain articles, etc.  But right now, the only thing I want to write about is heartbreak. Which I understand is wayyyy too serious for a first post after a few months hiatus.  Don’t worry, I’ll write about it soon.  I could write an entire book about the fucked up relationship I have with this gentleman and honestly, if I could get rid of him from my life completely, I would. Unfortunately, based on our mutual friends and the fact that I am required to see him every Thursday would make such wishes very difficult.  He changes his mind more than I change my nail polish color (which fyi is every few days)…… And men say that women don’t know what they want…

Anyways, I digress. Like I said, this isn’t obviously not a post about anything specific but I am always up for suggestions on things to write!

Until next time 🙂

Smart-Ass remarks for “Where do you see yourself in 5 years?”

If you ask anyone right out of college what some of their interview questions were, they would give a list:
1. What is your greatest accomplishment?
2. What do you value from your manager?
3. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
….
WHERE DO YOU SEE YOURSELF IN FIVE YEARS?

I don’t know if I can truly describe how much I dislike that question. Are they expecting a legitimate, mature, responsible answer? Or do they actually care about where we want to be in five years? It would be like asking “What’s the weather going to be like 5 years from today?”
Cloudy with a chance of sunshine, with a chance of snow, with a chance of a heat wave, with a 100% chance of go-fuck-yourself.

I understand up the purpose of interview questions. They want to test how well you think on your feet. They want to make sure you aren’t socially inadequate. Do they actually care about your great accomplishment? Probably not? Can they prove that you are making up an accomplishment? Nope, definitely not.

I think a more appropriate question would be “Where DON’T you want to see yourself in 5 years?”

I have more than enough logical responses to that one! Hmmm let’s see…..
1. Prison
2. Some crazy person institution
3. On the front cover of a porn DVD
4. Homeless and/or unemployed
5. Living by myself with like 12 cats
6. Really unfortunate looking
7. ….
You get the picture. There are a lot of places I know I don’t want to be in 5 years. But a lot could change in 5 years, I don’t know where I’ll be.

Five years ago I was 18, just about to enter my freshman year of college, nervous about meeting new people, and excited to finally leave home. Most of the things that I’ve done over the past 5 years, I couldn’t haven’t pictured myself doing 5 years ago.
Going to Europe? Nope.
Becoming a spin instructor? Definitely not, I hated exercise.
Moving to a new city? Hell no, I had every intention of being a townie.
(A townie is someone who never leaves or always comes back to their place of birth. In my case, 90% of my family lives there and most people have heard of my last name.)

My point is, people that have thought out answers to the “where do you see yourself in five years?” question are either being unrealistic, have serious OCD or refuse to take risks.

Next time I have an interview and someone asks that question I’m going to respond “I have no idea. I’ll see where the wind takes me.”
Lets see if I ever get another job……

Would you go back?

I read an article today about letting go of people who no longer play an important role in your life. It was on Buzzfeed or the Elitedaily or some sort of article website like that. I woke up this morning to go to the gym so today, I decided I was going to devote my time after work (before going out) to writing another post. Try and give people a sneak peak into the things that go on in my head everyday.

I had originally intended to write about the interview question “Where do you see yourself in 5 years?” But that’ll come eventually….it’s going to be quite a doozy. A part of me wants to write about it right now but then I’ll never remember to write this post, which, I’m sorry to say, is going to be a tad more serious than my other ones. Don’t worry, I’ll end with a knock-knock joke or something so you can get a little laugher out of this.

So here goes. I read the article and realized I could relate to it a little bit. There was a time in my life when I got rid of friends because they weren’t supportive of the things going on in my life, or more recently, because I have been the one fighting to make it work.

Well this is the article in case you want to read it: http://elitedaily.com/life/motivation/8-important-reasons-let-go-people-longer-play-important-part-life/650186/

After reading it I asked myself, would I go back to change myself or the friendship to help make it last? Would I tell them how I felt? Would I try to be more understanding of their thoughts and feelings? I don’t know. Because if I changed anything I would not be the person I am today. I guess that’s the whole point of this post. Would I go back? Do I regret anything enough to want to change it?

I read a quote once that said “One year ago, I would have never pictured my life the way it is now.” I think that should be my next tattoo because I can’t think of a better quote to be the slogan of my life.

Let’s see…1 year ago…
I was in the recovery phase of an eating disorder, on and off different anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds, spending multiple days sleeping or laying in bed, and trying to muster up the courage to get out of bed and attempt to fit into my size 0 clothes that fit a few months earlier.

Now.
Within the past year I went on my first spring break to Cancun, traveled to Europe for 3 weeks, graduated Summa Cum Laude from college, got a job, bought a car, moved to a new city, got a puppy, and…. it’s not even about those things. It’s about the little things. I smile more. Got most of my best friends back. Got close to my parents again. Successfully get out of bed every day (unless I’m too hungover). It may not seem like much to some people, but for me, it feels like I’m almost myself again.

Do I wish I was a size 0 again? Of course. It’s hard waking up and not being as skinny as I once was. I’m afraid of the side comments “she put on weight”. This is going to be sad and pathetic but I’m afraid I’m not beautiful anymore. My looks weren’t enough to get me a boyfriend back then…. how’s the weight gain supposed to help? (yes, that was a little pathetic but try to remember that I’m a girl).

I wouldn’t go back and change anything I went through. It was tough, yes. But it also gave me the ability to enjoy the little things in life and say yes to taking chances.

Yes, this was a long and drawn-out way to ask myself if I would go back and change anything. Simple answer? No. The bad times in life make the good times even better. I’ve grown more in the past year then I could have ever expected. I’m trying to express my feelings more. Taking chances. Doing what I want rather than what people expect of me.

I guess I want to try and leave you with a little lesson. Don’t try and be who you used to be. Try and learn from it to make yourself better. Tell people how you feel and don’t let pride get in the way.

Maggie Mayhem

I have wanted a dog for longer then I can remember. The first item on my Christmas list every year was “Puppy!” or “Dog!” or some variation of the canine species. I was always jealous of friends who had dogs or any type of animal for that fact. I had fish once, named Rainbow. And then a guinea pig named Caramel. I guess you could consider both of those pets but I didn’t need to walk them or take them out to do their business, so I’m not really counting those. I would have taken a cat for goodness sake! But Donna is allergic….

Anyway. I won’t go into the long story of how I came across my beautiful puppy. Actually, I will. The short version. A friend posted a picture on Instagram of a litter of chocolate labs. Me being the hopeful child that I am, inquired whether they were for sale. They were. Long story short, my mom convinced my dad to get one and tad-da, Maggie Mayhem became a part of the Brunelli Family.

I’m going to try not to be too sappy but 1 year with Maggie has truly changed my life. I can completely understand why new parents post on Facebook every noteworthy achievement of their children’s life, because they think their children are the best and amazing. (Sorry to inform you but they aren’t – I am. They can come a distant second though). But now I understand. Because every adorable pose Maggie does or funny face she makes, definitely going on all forms of social media.

I have so many favorite memories with Maggie, even after only a year, but 2 really come to mind.

1. The first weekend I was in Franklin after Maggie was brought in home, I took more pictures of that adorable puppy then I care to admit. Here is my favorite one.

One of the first mornings I was home, I played with Maggie around the kitchen and living room. Her paws were way too big for the rest of her body so when she would run to get the ball, more times than not, she would trip over her own paws and slide into the refrigerator door. Trust me, I’m not mean, it didn’t phase her and it was the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen. After a morning of playtime, we sat on the couch to relax. Less than a minute in, I look down and Miss Maggie is passed out, paws and belly up.

2. I went to Europe after I graduated from college for 3 weeks. Some people may not understand, but dogs know when something’s up. Big bag was packed and on the kitchen table, she knew. My parents drove my friend and I to the airport for our 3 week European adventure.

3 weeks go by and my parents are at the airport again, picking me up. When get into the garage and my mom says to me “We’ll take Maggie out first so she doesn’t pee on the floor before she gets outside. She’ll be excited to see you.”

Fine with me! So I stand at the top of the stairs in the garage as my parents walk in. Less than 30 seconds later I hear scratching at the door. My mom pokes her head out and says “I think she knows you’re here”. I giggle as I walk in for one of the best welcome homes I’ve ever gotten. Tail waging like a manic, jumping all over me, licking my face. I can’t complain because it felt good to be missed that much.

It’s hard to explain to someone who doesn’t have a dog but Maggie is truly part of the family. My annoying, crazy, adorable, smelly, headache causing little sister. Everything she does that annoys me is also so adorable. Like when I’m on the phone and she steals a wash cloth from the counter and refuses to give it back. She needs attention. Or when she stares at you as you eat your dinner waiting impatiently to lick the plate when you’re done. Or the inability to sit on the couch to watch TV because it’s always playtime.
Annoying? Yes. Would I change it? Fuck no. It’s everything that makes her my “Maggie Mayhem”.

Non-dog owning people don’t understand but dogs are more “human” than some people. They love unconditionally. Know when you’re sad. Refuse to leave you alone when you’re feeling depressed. And they even have those people-like eyes where you can tell exactly how they are feeling if they look at you for too long.

My year with Miss Maggie, Maggie May, Mags or my favorite Maggie Mayhem has taught me a lot about caring about others more than myself. Now I find the joy in the little things in life. All thanks to my Maggie. Maggie Mayhem.

An Aggressive Girl in a Southern World.

Before moving to Charlotte, I never really considered my personality in comparison to all the southern belles and southern gentlemen there are in Charlotte. Don’t get me wrong, charlotte isn’t like the “Deep South” with all those farms and small towns where no one has ever left. But all the same, “y’all” is a regularly used word, “bless your heart” is the nicer way of saying “are you fucking kidding me?”, and everyone is always “fixin'” to have a good time.

I knew my accent and inability to pronounce the letter “r” was going to make me stand out but I never knew my personality would do the same thing. I’m aggressive, blunt, intimidating, sarcastic, intense, and slightly abrupt. For some, all I just told you was that I’m a raging, crazy bitch. Not true (…entirely). You just need to meet me (don’t be afraid). Prior to moving to the south, I embraced my abrasive personality. It’s what made me, me. But since moving to Charlotte, a few people have told me I’m too intense for serious southern individuals.

In Boston, there was a time in my life when I was extremely self-conscious. About my looks, not my personality. On my long road to recovery, my personality is what helped me get through it. My sarcasm, hard work, and desire to succeed (which had its pros and cons). Now that I’ve moved to North Carolina, I find myself slightly self-conscious about my personality, which is something I never thought I would say. My inappropriate humor, foul language, and sarcasm (which sometimes has the ability to be misconstrued) all used to be things I liked about my self, but now am questioning whether I should change and become someone different.

In the work place, I can be mature and appropriate and responsible. But I truly take to heart the idea of work hard, play harder. What’s the point of work if you can’t have fun and let loose after?

I know I’m talking in circles and you’re wondering when I’m going to get to the point…. It’s something I got from my grandmother (you need to learn how to speak our language and it makes perfect sense). The purpose of this entire rambling was to reflect on whether or not I need to “tweak” my personality a bit. I’m insanely stubborn but do I need to calm down a bit to fit in with these southern folk (men especially) or should I stay just the way I am and hope there are people who learn accept and enjoy my unique personality?

I wouldn’t see it as changing but more of self-improvement. I’ve even started taking more yoga to see if any “zen” would help in the matter…. So far, no personality change, just increased flexibility (to help attractive those hott men out there).

Home is where the heart is.

I’ve officially moved from my home of 20 years in Franklin, Ma to a state I’ve only been to once, North Carolina. I’ve been trying to consider this like moving for college; I’ll have another place to live in Charlotte but at the end of the day, my house in Franklin with my parent, puppy, and older brother (who is actually moved out) will always be “home”.  At least that’s what I’ve been trying to convince myself.

It’s really like that though is it?  I’m moving to Charlotte for a full-time job, getting an apartment, etc.  When I think about it, if I love my job and the company that I work for I could potentially live in North Carolina for a long period of time.  I could buy a house there,  meet my future husband there (God help that man), register my car there and have a North Carolina license.  When does North Carolina become home for me? Will it ever be home without my family?

This is what has been going through my mind for the past few weeks since I have been home from Europe.  And boy, do I have a headache.  Before I came home from Europe, it hadn’t really set in that I would be creating this whole new life somewhere else. I mean, I created a whole new life in Boston but that was different.  I still went home for the holidays, and long weekends, and doctors appointments.  But now I think everything will be different.

I have mixed feelings of excitement and sadness that I am moving.  Excitement because I am ready to start the next chapter of my life.  This will be such a new adventure for me.  I am going to have to learn how to be more independent when it comes to my schedule and bills.  I’m going to have to make new friends, just like I did in college (and that was hard enough!).  I truly believe that I grew as a person so much when I was in college; 5 years ago I could have never imagined that this is how my life would be turning out.  I’m excited to move because I know that through this next adventure, I will grow even more as a person and experience new things.

But also with this moving, it the sadness that is sinking in.  When I think about moving I think about my life and how it’s going to change but now I’m realizing that I won’t have my friends and family from Massachusetts to share in the experiences with me.  My friends’ and family’s lives will go on and I won’t be there to share it with them.  Now-a-days with Facebook and texting it’s easier but the option to go out for drinks and gossip is out the window.

Next, there’s the holidays.  Holidays are big on both sides of my family.  It isn’t even just the holiday itself, its the events that happen before and after them.  On my Dad’s side of the family, we always get together at my Grandmother’s house to make raviolis a few weeks before Christmas.  Will I be around to go to that again?  Even smaller holidays like the 4th of July, Memorial Day, Labor Day, someone will always have a cookout.  Will I go to those?  Especially the little things like decorating the Christmas tree with the Mariah Carey soundtrack playing in the background.  To some, it may seem like traditions that are easy to get over.  But for me, who is so close to my entire family, it’s those things that I’m really going to miss.

I know it seems as though I am ending on a depressing note about moving I am more attempting to reflect on why my “home” is really my “home”.   They say that “Home is where the heart is” and I think that’s true.  Until I make my own memories and traditions in Charlotte, Franklin and Boston will always be my home.  They are filled with the people and places that matter to me the most.  Although it will be sad moving away from everyone, I am looking forward to it because it’ll give me the opportunity to make a “home” of my very own .