I read an article today about letting go of people who no longer play an important role in your life. It was on Buzzfeed or the Elitedaily or some sort of article website like that. I woke up this morning to go to the gym so today, I decided I was going to devote my time after work (before going out) to writing another post. Try and give people a sneak peak into the things that go on in my head everyday.
I had originally intended to write about the interview question “Where do you see yourself in 5 years?” But that’ll come eventually….it’s going to be quite a doozy. A part of me wants to write about it right now but then I’ll never remember to write this post, which, I’m sorry to say, is going to be a tad more serious than my other ones. Don’t worry, I’ll end with a knock-knock joke or something so you can get a little laugher out of this.
So here goes. I read the article and realized I could relate to it a little bit. There was a time in my life when I got rid of friends because they weren’t supportive of the things going on in my life, or more recently, because I have been the one fighting to make it work.
Well this is the article in case you want to read it: http://elitedaily.com/life/motivation/8-important-reasons-let-go-people-longer-play-important-part-life/650186/
After reading it I asked myself, would I go back to change myself or the friendship to help make it last? Would I tell them how I felt? Would I try to be more understanding of their thoughts and feelings? I don’t know. Because if I changed anything I would not be the person I am today. I guess that’s the whole point of this post. Would I go back? Do I regret anything enough to want to change it?
I read a quote once that said “One year ago, I would have never pictured my life the way it is now.” I think that should be my next tattoo because I can’t think of a better quote to be the slogan of my life.
Let’s see…1 year ago…
I was in the recovery phase of an eating disorder, on and off different anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds, spending multiple days sleeping or laying in bed, and trying to muster up the courage to get out of bed and attempt to fit into my size 0 clothes that fit a few months earlier.
Now.
Within the past year I went on my first spring break to Cancun, traveled to Europe for 3 weeks, graduated Summa Cum Laude from college, got a job, bought a car, moved to a new city, got a puppy, and…. it’s not even about those things. It’s about the little things. I smile more. Got most of my best friends back. Got close to my parents again. Successfully get out of bed every day (unless I’m too hungover). It may not seem like much to some people, but for me, it feels like I’m almost myself again.
Do I wish I was a size 0 again? Of course. It’s hard waking up and not being as skinny as I once was. I’m afraid of the side comments “she put on weight”. This is going to be sad and pathetic but I’m afraid I’m not beautiful anymore. My looks weren’t enough to get me a boyfriend back then…. how’s the weight gain supposed to help? (yes, that was a little pathetic but try to remember that I’m a girl).
I wouldn’t go back and change anything I went through. It was tough, yes. But it also gave me the ability to enjoy the little things in life and say yes to taking chances.
Yes, this was a long and drawn-out way to ask myself if I would go back and change anything. Simple answer? No. The bad times in life make the good times even better. I’ve grown more in the past year then I could have ever expected. I’m trying to express my feelings more. Taking chances. Doing what I want rather than what people expect of me.
I guess I want to try and leave you with a little lesson. Don’t try and be who you used to be. Try and learn from it to make yourself better. Tell people how you feel and don’t let pride get in the way.
travelingtrainwreck 